Stop These 7 Activities Holding You Back from Your Potential

This is YOUR year! Let go of these 7 things (from this article) to get closer to your goals:

People Who Actually Build Wealth Don’t Waste Time On These 7 Activities

Mindless social media scrolling
Constant complaining
Procrastinating
Unnecessary drama
Over-consumption
Living without a plan
Blaming others

The articles a good one, well worth the 5 minute read. And well worth reflecting on your own life through the lens of these 7 points.

These are all things that I’m working on and I feel like I’ve actually made decent progress this past year:

The bane of my existence. The problem is I always feel self conscious writing in public places (what if someone looks over my shoulder and judges me?? Silly, I know) so I feel more comfortable consuming content – but this is a losing game because I end up wasting time consuming things that aren’t really growing me, when I could instead be using that time to build myself up. So today I’m switching it up and setting a new routine for myself. Like I wrote HERE, I want to shift from consuming to creating more; closer to a ratio of 20% consumption, 80% creation.

How I’m working on this

It’s so basic it almost hurts to write: delete, or at least remove from your home screen, the apps that you lose the most time to on your phone. Because let’s be honest, it’s all happening on your phone. Another one – put your phone out of reach when you shouldn’t be on it.

2. Constant complaining

My internal dialogue used to be constant complaints about absolutely everything. Then I heard a story about a woman who asked a mentor for help with a job she hated; he advised her to stop complaining about it for a week; a week later he checks in with her, and she shares that remarkably her job has completely 180’d and everything is absolutely great! I got the point and tried to stop complaining so much in my own life. Complaining is just a way to perpetuate a story – yes, a story – about how much things suck, which doesn’t help me get any closer to where I want to go. In fact, complaining prevents me from learning and growing from the experiences at hand. It does take a lot of practice, and of course I still complain, but I do it a lot less than before and I feel much better for it.

How I’m working on this

In the beginning you have to start by simply noticing when you are complaining. If it’s to other people, notice the words that are coming out of your mouth. If it’s in your head, notice the thoughts that you are having. Then you start to curb these. Hold the words instead of speaking them; find something else to say, or don’t say anything at all. Deprive your thoughts of their oxygen by shifting your attention to something else, or even find a way to reframe the narrative of your complaint.

3. Procrastinating

Call me out, why don’t you. Ok, I still procrastinate a ton. Have I gotten any better at this? Marginally. I’m still working on this one. What I really need to do is get better at taking my own advice, like I spelled out in THIS post and THIS post.

How I’m working on this

Guess I’ll have to read what I wrote in a wiser state of mind at the links above. Or let’s look at a more immediate example – how did I stop procrastinating to start working on this post? Well after washing and folding two loads of laundry and watching a few Vogue Beauty Secrets videos (tell me I’m not the only one) I got my ass up into another room, turned on the fireplace video on Netflix, and opened up this post to start reading/writing/editing. Put simply, I shifted my environment, removed distractions, and took the next smallest step.

4. Unnecessary drama

As I started complaining less, I feel like the drama started fading from my life as well. I always seek to live a drama-free (or drama-lite) life so there was never much drama to start with, but the small dramas – mostly in my inner world – started to shrink this year. Things that would stress me out – mainly relating to social engagements, introvert that I am – became less intimidating to me this year. The apprehension I used to feel is nowhere close to what I feel now, and the stress I feel during events has diminished compared to my previous experiences too. Even when others try to draw me into their drama, I’ve gotten much better at playing a neutral party and not playing into their games. This comes with practice, is related to not complaining and telling myself false stories, and I think comes naturally as a side effect of maturing with age and building the life I want.

How I’m working on this

Be like water! When someone wants to draw you into drama, don’t take the bait. Be neutral – don’t fall into criticizing people, gossiping or otherwise getting caught up in it. Or if the drama is created in your own world, be a neutral party in your own mind. Recognize that the drama is all in stories being told to yourself, and that things don’t have to play out in the worst case scenario like you’re worried they will.

5. Over-consumption

I’ve cycled through periods of deprivation and over-consumption. Over-consumption was a natural reaction to not being able to purchase a lot at a certain time in my life. Now that I’m at a point where I have stable income of my own, I can choose to consume less instead of being forced to consume less. I’ve been more deliberate and intentional about how I spend my money. Purchases mean more when there’s been more thought put into the decision leading up to it. This can be hard when businesses everywhere are determined to milk our money from us, but this is a powerful way to exercise our free will and agency in a capitalistic society. I want to build my own wealth to spend my money and resources as I choose to, not as billion-dollar marketers tell me to.

How I’m working on this

Wait to buy. Ask yourself if you really need (or even if you really want) a thing before you buy it. And don’t fall victim advertising that’s designed to get you to want to buy more. For example, if you like watching fashion hauls, review videos, etc., use these as research to help you decide what you most want to buy, instead of being influenced to buy things just because someone told you to.

6. Living without a plan

I can get better at this. I’ve never been great at mapping out what I’d like my life to look like 3, 5, 10 years down the road. I just know who I want in my life, and maybe some of the small creature comforts I’d like to count on. But I know I won’t be satisfied with myself if I let myself live passively, so I need to set up some more meaningful goals and establish a plan for myself. It’s not about executing a set plan to a T, but rather about getting myself to a point where I feel I’ve made myself useful in the way I chose for myself. This is about agency and living the life I defined for myself. So this is an area I can definitely improve in. To start, I’ll need to take this seriously and spend some time defining a real plan for myself.

How I’m working on this

Literally taking the time to create a plan for my life. Be honest and open with myself about what I want and commit it to writing. Let myself create a plan that is defined by my dreams, not my fears or beliefs about what I think I should want or what I think I deserve. And have fun with it, letting myself believe that anything I could want is possible.

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

7. Blaming others

My word for 2025 is AGENCY. I have agency in all things in my life. And that means that I will own my part in things, instead of blaming others. I am reminded of this quote by Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Viktor Frankl

I’ve avoided blaming others for a long time (ever since I faced my life’s biggest challenge to date). It’s served me well and I continue to seek ownership in challenging situations to this day. It can be hard, but it’s a big part of building a life of true wealth.

How I’m working on this

First of all, I try not to get into unwanted situations in the first place so I don’t feel like blaming other people. I have to take responsibility for avoiding situations I know aren’t good for me. This includes paying attention to what could happen as a result of certain decisions, thinking things through to possible outcomes, and being proactive by sensing ahead and doing what I can to manage things ahead of time. This way I avoid situations in which I might be tempted to blame others, because I’ve knowingly gotten myself into any given situation by my own choices. Secondly, I recognize that others aren’t responsible for me – only I am responsible for me. Even if someone does something I don’t like, I don’t blame them – I have my reaction then manage my feelings and subsequent actions because that’s the only way I can move myself forward.

How are you doing in these 7 areas within your own life?