What does it mean to live a good life?
As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to think of living a good life as requiring two things: 1) defining what “good” means for you, then 2) aligning your life with that definition.
This is not a novel idea. You’ll see this a lot in business: Define your version of success (what’s the goal?) then take actions that will bring you closer to that goal. That’s success. There are even specific terms and frameworks to help you evaluate your progress toward success: What are the KPIs (key performance indicators) to measure your progress toward that goal? That you’ve reached it?
Our lives don’t have to be as formulaic as that, but it’s a helpful model to guide your life: define your version of success (i.e. a good life); make your life’s decisions based on that.
So what is a good life to you?
This begins with defining your values, or your life’s priorities. Which leads us to the question: How do you even decide what your values are?
Some of your values might already be crystal-clear to you. Others might still be murky inclinations, vague sensations in your body, that have yet to take real shape.
Defining your values and how you want to live your life might sound superficial but it’s high-stakes work. This is your life we’re talking about. It’s well worth carving out an afternoon to dig deep into what’s important to you.
So block out distractions and grab your favorite drink. It’s time to whip out your journal and favorite pen.
Be honest with yourself as you go through these prompts. After all, you want to live a life that’s true to what you value – not your parents, your friends, your community, etc. What’s important to you? This is a journal exercise so it’s for your eyes only. Tell yourself the truth.
And remember to check back in with yourself as time goes on. You will absolutely change as you live more life. That’s to be expected. And that means your values might change. That’s ok. Keep being true to yourself and living what’s right for you. Otherwise you’ll get into some real trouble – think life dissatisfaction, disappointment and regret. Things that can happen when you choose the things you don’t truly want.
Here are 5 prompts to help you define what’s most important to you and help you lead a life led by your values.
- What are your top 5 values? or, What are the most important things to you in life? Why are these important to you?
- How does your current life reflect your values? Where does it not reflect your values?
- What would change if you were to arrange your life around your values whole-heartedly?
- How do the people in your life reflect your values? What are their values?
- What does a life prioritizing your values look like? In 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
Bonus resource: Instead of coming up with your values on your own, you might prefer to be led with a structured evaluation. If that’s you, try taking the Demartini values test designed by Dr. John Demartini.
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